What A Difference A Year Can Make

Wednesday July 22 2015 8:01 pm | Comments (6) Tags: ,

Hello my friend,

It’s been too long since I’ve written a blog post.

After working part time for fifteen years, I am now working full time.  I’m still with D+H (Formerly Harland Financial Solutions) and I enjoy the challenge.

Working full time, being a grandma to two beautiful grandchildren, and occasionally traveling with our son Gabe has limited my spare time. What little time I have has been dedicated to drafting my first novel.

I’m excited to apply the writing lessons I’ve learned in online classes, retreats and conferences as I craft this first piece of fiction.

The book is tentatively titled – Behind The Smile. 

The story is about Kit Stevenson. A supermom who has successfully managed to keep her head above the rising waters of her chaotic life. Kit, like many of us, has hidden her challenges behind her notable smile. But when she is forced to deal with her secrets and her pain, she learns the power of being vulnerable and authentic — something she wished she’d learned years earlier.


Oh how I relate to Kit. Do you?

One year ago on April 14, 2014, I checked myself in to The Center – A Place of Hope desperate to find answers for the discouragement I couldn’t shake.

No one knew. Or so I thought.

I was sure my smile hid the pain so well. I was on top of it, wasn’t I?

You know, the typical work, family, marriage and health issues.

This was no different than anyone else, right?

I soon learned I was kidding myself when a very good friend called me out. We were talking on the phone one afternoon. She mentioned depression and prayed for me to get some help.

About a week later, I found a book in my mailbox – “Turning Your Down into Up” – by Dr. Gregory Jantz.

NOT ME! I said. I’m on top of it. I’ve got everything under control. Don’t you see my smile?

Depression is all about my grandma, and my mom and my sister. Not about me!

My friends and my counselor asked great questions that pointed me to an understanding that my busy life was a coping mechanism. Going a hundred miles an hour in every which direction kept me from dealing with the truth.

When I took an honest look at my life, I admitted I was suffering from depression and anxiety. I was too proud to admit it.

For years I hid my pain behind the smile.

I’d known it for a long time. But I was afraid to be honest with myself and my family and tell the truth.

I am thankful for honest friends and counselors  to speak the truth in love and point me to HOPE.

Six weeks of individual and group therapy dealing with the whole body approach to health uncovered a mountain of issues I finally understood. I was challenged to face a few things head on. I learned tools for daily living. I realized my life is worth taking time to heal.

As difficult as it was, I am a better person because of what I learned.

I’d like to come along your side to encourage you in your journey as I share more about mine. Would you like to take this walk with me?

Take the first step — Share in the comments about a time where you hid behind a smile.

Smiling with Truth,I'd hidden my painBehind the Smile




Better Not Bitter

Wednesday May 21 2014 12:23 pm | Comments (10) Tags: , , ,

Hello Friend!

I’ve been away from my blog on a spiritual retreat and getting help for the depression and anxiety I’ve felt on and off for many years.

It was time for me to face it, rather than deny it.

This is my last week at The Center – A Place of HOPE, where I have received wonderful care from my therapists, doctors, nutritionists and a host of new friends.

A Place of HOPE

The  best care has been given me by the One and Only who is acquainted with my sorrow – Jesus.

I have so much to tell you.

I hope you’ll come back to my blog in the coming days and weeks where I’ll share some of the amazing revelations I’ve had these past six weeks.

I have turned my trials to triumphs.

I have removed bitter roots and I see sprouts of new growth and a better life.

I have examined every area of my life, like peeling an onion layer by layer.

My faith has been tested and has produced the quality of endurance.

I have asked God for help and received answers to long ago prayers.

Suffering and pain got my attention. It got me to listen to God in a way nothing else could.

I have learned that adversity is the greatest teacher.

When I am weak, Christ is made strong.

My faith has been tested. It is precious to God. It is more precious than gold.

I am more dependent upon the Lord as I have learned to face and embrace adversity.

I am allowing the Holy Spirit to develop Christ’s character in me.

I have learned things by the way of suffering.

This testing of my faith has produced endurance. This endurance has produced perseverance.

I have been pruned.

I have been purified.

I have become better instead of bitter.

Better Not Bitter

God’s grace has been my Divine Anesthetic.

I see the promises and blessings He has had for me all along. But the bitterness in my heart clouded my vision.

I can see clearly now, my pride is gone.

My hope and prayer for you, my friend. Is that you will be able to endure your painful trials and process them to effect real change.

May the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus.

Bless you with hope. If you don’t have any today, let me loan you some of mine. It is abundant in my heart this day.